Concerning the Moustache

Concerning the Moustache
(Italicized lines from Etiquette for Every Day by Mrs. Humphrey, 1904, pg 76, The Hatless Man by Sarah Kortum)

A man with a trivial nose should not wear a large moustache

if the nose be small as a tiny thread bobbin, forget it entirely.
Persisting in this facial hair folly

will increase the insignificance of his insignificant nose

His nose will spite him, refusing to smell the smoke of fires
or the ham roasting in the oven.

Sometimes the ends of a man’s moustache are visible to persons walking behind him

like two boot-black chevrons peeking out, pointing in opposite directions,
especially if he be thin as a darkened lamp post.

This imports to him a belligerent, aggressive air.

If he ties a young lady to the train tracks, he will always say his moustache
is to blame.

The moustache is really the tentacles of an alien dwelling on his upper lip.
It’s not his fault.

Lucy Simpson, 2-27-2013


5 A.M. Moon Over Mt. Herman

5a.m Moon Over Mt. Herman
I find Mt. Herman at 5am
in a shining blue before dawn,
the moon full above it.
With a cross of light shining out,
it reminds me of the gold monstrance
with the Eucharist inside,
pale, wafer thin moon.
I brew coffee, my tiny grave in a cup
with its hint of resurrection.
When I look again, only the top
of the moon is visible
like the crown of a fat, luminescent
bald man playing peek-a-boo.

Lucy Simpson, 2-27-2013